.:WhAt I lEaRnEd AbOuT mYsElF:.

I learned that I don't want people to care about me because I'm afraid I'll hurt them inadvertently. I'd rather I be the only one to care.

Messed up, huh? :/

.:NiGhTmArEs:.

It's been 4 days since I've slept, as I write this. That's 96 hours. I'd know, I've been conscious for every one of them. I'd love to sleep. It's perhaps the thing I want most in the world, at least in this moment. Yet I know that if I do sleep, I'll dream. And I'd rather be so tired then go through that torture.

Lately, I've taken to sleeping with a knife under my mattress. As if I'm afraid the dream will come true. The knife makes me feel safer, like I could fight away the demons of the nightmare. I still can't sleep, but it calms me some.

On the upside, I got a new pair of glasses. And I look super fly.

Note: I did sleep last night, but I still had the dream. :/